Sins of the AntiHero
by IHateRick
Summary: WARNING: this is not for Rick fans - unless you enjoy seeing him suffer. Not for Richonne, Rickyl or any Rick shippers. This is a series of unfortunate events in which Rick will always suffer. There will be character deaths. Rick/Michonne and Rick/Daryl moments are included, but fans of the pairing won't like how they end.


_If nothing else, there's comfort in recognising that no matter how much we fail and sin, death will limit our suffering._

 **Chuck Palahniuk**

"Oh God," Rick groaned. While his mind kept trying to figure out how they had got to where they were, what he was feeling was so distracting he never got far before the pleasure was the only thing on his mind once again.

A few hours ago Rick and Michonne had been fighting their way out of a herd of walkers. Fighting for their lives. The look they shared at one point was a potential goodbye. There was no denying how close they'd been to certain death. But somehow they had fought out of it. Somehow they survived.

And now he was lying on a couch in some abandoned house with his dick in Michonne's mouth. It had surprised him when she gave him a look earlier. It was a look he knew well. But it was a little different this time - there was a desperation in her eyes that he'd never seen before. He assumed it was because of their brush with death. No matter how many times they had come within inches of dying there was always an exhilarating thrill that came with being so close - and surviving.

Michonne sucked harder and he felt his dick throb in response. He was thankful to be lying down because he was pretty damn sure his legs wouldn't have held him up at that point. It wasn't the first time she'd given him a blow job, but this one was, well, pretty fucking amazing. She started to move faster and Rick heard a moan escape his throat as he gripped the couch cushions tighter.

Pretty soon he was going to have to decide if he wanted to stop her or let her finish him off. She seemed to be on a mission to please him, but he always wanted to make sure she got something out of it too. Oh well, there were things he could do to make sure she was taken care of.

Rick touched her hair, feeling the dreads rough on his fingertips. He smiled. Who would have thought with everything he'd been through he would find love again? Who would have thought with all the things he'd done that someone would actually love him back?

He felt his balls start to tighten and Rick knew he was getting really close. Suddenly she stopped and he felt her weight bear down on him, with his dick still deep in her throat. It felt good, but without the movement he had already backed off the edge. Rick wasn't sure exactly what she was doing, but he decided to go with it and see where she took him. He waited for what seemed like hours given his state of arousal, but was likely barely a minute.

Rick wiggled and waited a little longer. Finally he couldn't take it anymore. "Hey, 'Chonne," he whispered, touching her hair gently. "You okay?" She didn't reply and Rick felt his heart start to pound faster. "Michonne?" he said again, reaching for her shoulder. What the hell is going on? He wondered. Still she didn't move. Just as he was about to scramble out from under her he felt her move and relief flooded him. "You scared me for a minute," Rick chuckled, relaxing once again.

Suddenly he felt a stinging burn, followed by the most excruciating pain he'd felt in his entire life. Panic gripped him and Rick started to scramble. His mind couldn't comprehend what was happening. All he knew was that she was hurting him. Michonne was causing the pain.

It all became clear when she raised her head, with blood dripping from her mouth and chin - and snarled at him. Rick looked down at the horrific sight in front of him - his penis was half gone. She'd bit a huge chunk of it off and it was his blood dripping from her face and gushing from where only moments ago he'd had a massive, beautiful hard on.

Rick froze until she came at his face. Finally his survival instincts kicked in and he grabbed her neck to hold her back, teeth snapping in his face, snarls coming from the mouth he loved to kiss. The pain was epic, but the emotional far outweighed the physical. Tears burned his eyes and within seconds they were streaming down his face. "I'm so sorry," he whispered. "I loved you. I still love you." Rick gasped. He looked into her eyes, but she was gone. Michonne was gone. His love - she was gone.

His gun was on the table, he couldn't hold her back much longer. His groin was on fire. His heart felt like it had been ripped from his chest. Rick knew he could release her and she could end his pain and suffering. But the one thing they had always promised each other - all of them - his family, was that they would never let each other turn without ending it if they could.

So with every ounce of strength he had left Rick held her back and groped for his gun. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he repeated over and over again, both before and after he pulled the trigger. Her weight was on top of him. Blood from the hole he'd just blown in her head was pouring over his chest. But Rick couldn't let her go.

It wasn't until the pain in his groin, with her dead corpse pressing on him, got too unbearable that Rick realized if he had any chance at all of living there was something he needed to do. He shoved her body off of him, stood up and reached for her katana. He felt dizzy from the blood loss and absolutely nauseous. Do it. Do it. Do it.

With bile rising in his throat Rick grabbed what was left of his dick and somehow sliced it off at the base with the razor sharp blade. He screamed. The pain was blinding. His eyes went black. Was this the end anyway? Could he survive this? Did he even want to? Maybe it was time to finally let go - to finally pay for his sins, his actions, his bad decisions. Maybe this was what he deserved. Maybe this was how he deserved to go out.

The last thing that flashed in his mind was a vision of the four people who meant the most to him - Michonne and Lori reaching out their hands while Carl held Judith in his arms. _Dada. Dada. Dada._ And blackness.

 _In the middle of the herd, fighting for her life with the man she loved Michonne knew. She felt the sting and the burn on her back from the bite. It was over. She knew it. She gave Rick a look - said goodbye with her eyes in case they didn't make it out of the herd. But once the fight was finished, once Rick was safe she couldn't resist making him happy - one last time._


End file.
